My eyes have had enough for one life

I worked hard at relaxing eye muscles in hopes that the sensation of pressure was fooling me, and that the problem was eye muscle cramping instead-- that at least I have some control over. I spent most of two days on conscious relaxation of the eyes, lying in the blackened room I have to sleep in, sometimes managing some sleep. It backfired. Later on I ended up with what felt like very bruised, black and blue eyeballs. This was only the next day, almost like a sort of "hangover".

Andre Aggesey (sp?) the tennis player was talking on NPR recently. He said there had been times when uncramping certain muscle spasms after a game had automatically caused other muscles to cramp painfully, because (I hope I have this right) these muscles function together, and for one to relax, the other has to tighten, and vice versa. That has often been what it feels like in my eye muscles. Also though, I feel pretty sure now that enough pressure is on the eyes, as they're pushed against the bony walls of the eye sockets, that they're being bent out of shape a bit, enough for pain and these flashes in the corner of my eyes when I look back and forth.

Anyway, I dropped trying to relax the eyes, and decided just to leave them alone, and at least any damage I did might heal up. The aspirin/caffeine powder and muscle relaxant help very little and I've OD'd badly on them, and I'm cutting back. The pain is less, but the pressure remains. It feels sort of like trying to keep a jawbreaker in my mouth that's too big, except that we're talking about my eyes in their sockets.

I wish to God someone were reading this.