A Strange Anniversary, and Water Fries My Nervous System

October 15, 1999: a very weird combination of Independence Day and its exact opposite, for me. I finally escaped dependence on a family (an insane father mostly) who didn't accept this condition, only to end up with no family, a bare-subsistence income, and no physical help, very much an out-of-the-frying-pan-into-the-fire situation. I'm still living in that frying pan.

*****

Update: I was right to be terrified of my next shower-- it blasted my nervous system much worse. This comes right when I have a mounting dehydration problem, which I passed out from once. I can't avoid water. Who knows, maybe I'm even reacting to chemicals in the water in the fruit juice. Anyway, I can't avoid washing, and splashing my eyes to hydrate them. Only this Mountain Valley brand that I seem to be reacting to, which I've had delivered for 20 years, is in glass. I have to avoid any liquid in plastic, so I can't just order another brand.

Along with more severe current, there's near-overwhelming exhaustion and more mental lethargy. This lasts indefinitely after each shower, so there's never a point when it wears off. I had to take the taxi both ways to get food Wednesday, and still, the struggle from carrying five bags up one flight of stairs made this the hardest grocery trip yet.... and I walked across town first with all the other trips. I had to leave the store early this time, knowing I wasn't getting most needed things.

I bought a little bottled water (other brands) from the store in glass, and am rationing it. I'm drinking fruit juice, a lot of it, I have to to survive. I like to think this will pass if I somehow manage to think of any and all contributing factors and avoid them, but guess what.... I can't think. I will never be able to give a good description of what my system feels like right now, as I type this. It's horrible.

Negative results from the cardiologist's untrasound and the ENT doctor's scan. The only day I felt better at all recently was after a walk across town and a sudden, unexpected better-air day (before the water problem started). Maybe I need to force myself to walk no matter how exhausted, to get the building's toxic air out thoroughly, but it's counter-productive with bad pollution.

I'm half amazed I put together a coherent entry here tonight.

oct 9 2009

Is this John Lennon's birthday?

Had CT scan of troublesome left face area and eyes yesterday. A new much worse neurological reaction to water has just shot ahead of all other concerns to #1 though. The horrible electric effects have become so severe from washing in bottled water that yesterday I said to hell with it, I'm going ahead and showering in the tap water I've avoided for years.... at this point it couldn't be worse than the expensive bottled water, and it's free.

I'm now terrified of every shower. I'll have to buy this Cetaphil stuff and start washing without water, but that doesn't deal with hair, and what the hell do I drink? I have to drink water.

Mountain Valley is the only uncarbonated brand left in glass, that I can have delivered. I now have to consider water in those polycarbonate? bottles that they claim don't leech out plastic, but I doubt that can possibly be true. In the meantime I'm drinking and splashing my eyes with water I don't dare bathe in.

I just heard on NPR that Chronic Fatigue can involve debilitating bone and joint pain, so maybe I have CF after all, and that's where the arthritis comes from. I wanted to connect my EI to my arthritis; maybe I can via CF. A doctor in Reno NV says they may have found a virus that causes CF, which could leaded to targeted treatments.