sept 29 2009

Happy birthday, Helen.

Cardiologist did ultrasound, heart okay. He actually suggested that my general 'constellation' of symptoms, the larger eye/neurological thing, could be an "MS variant". I didn't know about variants, but I've often thought this condition might be vaguely MS-like, and that the wearing away of the fatty insulation around nerve fibers (which is what MS is), and resulting excess "noise" in the nervous system, might explain the neurological "overload" I experience, the sense of "current" (electrical).

I'm trying to arrange a CT scan to look into that left side of my face where an infection, or something, is going on. Antibiotics in the meantime.

Big arthritis flare-up, worsening. It's settled mostly in my right wrist. It's swelled and covered with rash (it's psoriatic arthritis, rash comes with it). The wrist's much wider now including the bone, so will it ever go back to normal? I wonder if I bought some bad glucosamine. I'll get a different brand soon. Connection between infection and worse arthritis? They seem to coincide. Three immune system factors at same time: EI, arthritis, apparent infection. I can't even form a proper question in my head about this. What's it all mean?

I thought of looking up information on the biochemistry of vision, since light is affecting my nervous system and brain in a very unusual way. Something's wrong somewhere in all those steps between light hitting the retina and the signal reaching the brain, right? As always though, the moment I start I have to stop, because of the eyes, and I can't remember much of what I've learned.

sept 11 2009

Someone, probably Helen, told me a possible infection like this might be "manageable"; in other words, there are steps one can take on one's own to help it run its course. If it's this persistent though.... Anyway, I got out to walk several days in a row, which I thought was progress, but maybe ragweed exposure's a factor. No ragweed when the whole thing started though... Could I be so far behind in apartment-cleaning (and lack of antiseptics except vinegar) that catching up could help manage the 'infection'? I'm now taking insane amounts of glucosamine for arthritis, but it's helping. I was Walter Brennan-ing all over the apartment tonight (hobbling staggering that sort of thing) when I got up, I had it all over me. Is arthritis connected to how clean the place is?

sept 9 2009

Starting to get that strange sick feeling that led me to get my tooth pulled, and I think the strange area with pain/pressure from the upper left molars through that left maxillary sinus right above it and through to the left eye needs looking into. Otolaranygologist?

I forgot that holes from pulled teeth need special maintenance with EI patients, to keep all food particles and anything out (so trapped infections don't happen), until the hole seals, and didn't remember till it was too late.

Maybe coincidentally, maybe not, ragweed season should be well underway now. The usual throat itching that lets me know it's started hasn't happened though. They're advertising flu shots as if we all need them, but I don't recall ever having had one. Not sure what flu is, apart from being like a bad cold, except muscle aches, which I have. I've been attributing that to my greater arthritis than usual.

More arthritis has accompanied this whole tooth business in the last few weeks. So, something that seems like an infection (to me, not that I'd know), plus arthritis-- which I think is an [i]over-active[/i] immune system. Meaning??

Sept 3 2009

The tooth seems to have been the right one. I hope to delete info. here if it becomes obselete, such as everything about the pulled tooth once I'm sure it all went fine. I don't want readers overloading on details.

I screwed up my dentist appointment for tomorrow. It seem to sneak up on me; suddenly I realized it was tomorrow and I thought it was still a week off. This is new. I take steps to get around my memory problem so that doesn't happen to me. I had to cancel because I hadn't arranged to get enough rest to recover enough to make the trip. Then when I called to cancel the taxi, they swore I hadn't arranged for it. (You have to arrange for this state-paid service well in advance.) I was absolutely certain I had, but only a special long-distance taxi company makes that trip, and I never called them.

In other words, I'm losing more ground, in my brain function. I used to say I felt half asleep all the time. Now it's two-thirds or three-quarters. I wonder how little oxygen my brain is struggling valiantly to get by on... I screw up more and more important phone calls, because of terrible concentration.

I'm failing to prepare for possible Social Security and Public Aid reviews, and the next housing review, by working on finding a new doctor, because of my endless eye abuse--sleep deprivation cycle. Losing huge amounts of time. I should be in a good bed with good food and no light to recuperate, not struggling to think and work now.

Possible areas for new doctor to look into: Compromised liver function-- local eye anesthetic? Local eye anti-inflammatory? (Bring down eye swelling)-- PET scan... for neuro-transmitter loss? Dopamine etc.?-- Immune system boost? (to counteract environmental assaults, possible accumulated alcohol effects, and damage from anti-arthritis drugs)-- Flushing my system out... that colonoscopy flush was somewhat "energizing", or something. In a good way, not like my nervous system over-reacts to light.

Really ill all the time, and can't get break from it. The blankness is basically making me forget who I am, my own personality. That's too complicated to explain here and now. All in all, I can't take this at all anymore, not even a little bit.

My friend Helen has ideas on what to ask a new doctor to look into. I need to get all that info. down.